December 2010
1 post
I finally took that first step to healing,
and I think it’s going to pay off- even if only a little.
I hurt someone that I loved deeply. I hurt them very badly. And since that day (October 3rd), I’ve thought of him. Every. Single. Day. I talked to him maybe twice since, once to see what was up, but it was short. The other time was to say hey after I saw him at a football game (and ran away like a coward- luckily he...
September 2010
7 posts
“He came closer, until we were only inches apart. Nearly nose-to-nose, excepting the few inches in height that he had on me. He slowly raised his right hand, and dragged his fingertips across my lips.
‘You’re trying so hard. So goddamn hard. I can see it. You’re trying too hard. Just let it go. Let it all go. You can cry. You can scream. I’m here. I’ll...
“I said, ‘Can you believe it?’
He said, ‘Believe what?”
‘All the crazy, cruel things people do to each other. Maybe I’m slow, but I just don’t get it.’ I glanced back at the news.
He looked at me, blue eyes twinkling, and slid off of the couch. I thought he was going to put his head in my lap, like usual, but he surprised me. He...
“I smiled sweetly, letting my eyes drop, then flick back up to him, He seemed flattered, and I was glad that I hadn’t laid it on too thickly. He smiled back, slightly bewildered, I think. He stepped a little closer, and when I didn’t react, a little closer still. He reached out with his warm, rough hand, and he tilted my head back so he could bring his lips down to touch mine...
“And then you did something I can never forgive… You told me, “I love...”
"I don't miss you. I don't miss you. I don't.
Except I do.
I miss the way you watch everything, and the way our eyes used to meet. I miss the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, and how you look in people’s eyes when you speak. I miss the way you tilt your head when you’re listening to people, and how you throw your head back when you laugh. I miss the way you close your eyes and scrunch up your eyebrows when you sing, and...
“I looked at his face, and suddenly my mind was reeling. Images upon images flashed by- images of… Us? Us now, as were are. Us in a couple of years, at prom; a few years later, eating and laughing in a restaurant; later, in our twenties, with myself walking down an aisle in a white dress, and with him- him standing at the end, waiting. Even more images, flashing faster- him lovingly...
November 2009
32 posts
“Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up. But there’s...”
– One Tree Hill (via lilbrugs)
Hate isn’t the opposite of love, indifference is...
lilbrugs
GMH →
mmhmnikolee:
givesmehope:
My Dad handed me a letter that my Mom, whom I was very close to, wrote to me a few months before she died of cancer. In it, she told me how proud she was of me, and not to be afraid of the future; “I’ll be watching from heaven, and cheering you on.” My Mom’s love GMH.
gives me hope : ]
